I don’t know how I felt? After all this while, once again I feel so devastating. It seems like everything goes wrong. Nothing can be said successfully accomplished. Some may say, take it easy. But I shouldn’t take this life for granted. The reality neither I create it nor destroy it. But I’m the one who create the circumstances of my life. I am responsible for every single thing that happened. It might be a burden or not, but I still have to carry. I’ve been lingering with my miserable life. And I can’t take any longer to live with those parasites.
Times pass by, and u will never realize how fast the time moving. And when u looking back, u seen nothing. I done done done analyze every single thing that I did, every single path that I took, I mean everything. And there are a lot. For 22 years old girl like me, it is really a lot. Some I just keep it in the memories and some I just want to get rid of it. Honestly, I am tired, I am exhausted with this life. But still, I realize a long journey that waits for me, yet, I don’t know where my destiny is. Something that already written for me and I will never know.
This life will never mean anything if u never go through the hardship. Even I feel like almost dying, but the lesson is a precious treasure. This life is far away and it is beyond ur imagination. After stumble and fall I still can smile. Even I still can feel the pain but just pretend it already been cured. I am my own medicine. I got Allah as a guidance. So what else I need?
We never know how far this life could be. It is an anticipating path to discover. Frankly speaking, I am kind of person that take this life as it is. But actually I am not use to be like this. Even I am still an energetic and ambitious person, but some part of me still need to be recovered. Need to be healed. It sounded so lame. Looking deeper, every one of us got their own dark memories. And no matter how strong we got through it, but still deep in our heart there still a pain. A weakness that we don’t need to feel ashamed of and no one can blame on it. The important thing here, we know our own strength. There is useless to be miserable for something that already past. We must move ahead looking for something that better than ever.
As we encounter the new world, we need to get prepare. This life got a lot of things to offer. It might be bad or good. As worst become worst, u might take another wrong path. So, this is the preparation all about. No turning back, but take the treasure with u. This life should be much betters with the wisdom that u own. Put away the anxiety in u, and live in serenity.
Ur gut can be the best reference. U know urself better. U know what is the best for u. Better late than never, there is nothing wrong to change. We always need to improve ourselves, a better one indeed. Catch the star till u drop. Stand still and never look back. Moving on and say ‘thanks to the memories’.
