tis blog kinda be abandoned by me…i even told my fren tat i didnt updated anytin…n by then tis log might sounded such a lame pretty trash…or might be just a trash…anyway tis blog is not so important to anybody…its mine…my own trash where i use 2 throw all d craps inside my head…
well, act i owez feel like i want 2 write sumtin…but i was like had lost all d abilities 4 me 2 write…i cant find d write words…i cnt organize d ideas…d ideas keep coming n then dissappear at d moment i want 2 write sumtin…in fact, i dun even know how 2 express all my feelings…its not like i am very happy even it is wut i demanded 4…bt act i am totally mess up…all d feelings had mix up 2 each other inside d tiny wounded heart inside me….
*sigh*
evrytim i want 2 write d 1st thing tat comes up on my mind is d sigh….bcoz tats how i feel apparently…a sigh witout a breath…
im scared if i am still under depression…i realize bout tat when i still choking sumtim…then i cant breath easily wen i am under stress…i am damn scared when i choked suddenly last nite but im controlling myself not 2 put my finger on my throat…im scare if i puke n then i will puke again…gosh im scared…im not interested 2 meet a doctor or wutever even my mum ask me 2….i dun really think they can help me…i dun care how professional they are supposed 2 be…but i start 2 ignore them wen they start 2 stated d fact….anyway 6 doctors in 7 months is make me get enuf of ol tis thing…
n im scared wen i started 2 lost my weight again…i try so hard 2 get it 2 40kg n then it decrease again….i dun know y i get sick easily lately…n i got d headache constantly…
honestly im not focusing on my study…im not doing like wut i use 2 do…i juz leave evrytin behind…i dun even care when my result dun even reach my target…plus ol d mounted task 2 be done…argh i dun really care…i juz wanna stay out of stress….
honestly tats not ieyla…i still trying 2 handle my health….i try 2 manage ol d tasks…i try 2 study 4 my test or sumtin…it juz when i feel like wanna stress or sumtin, i juz choose 2 leave evrytin behind…
I MISS IEYLA SO MUCH….
*sigh*
