Over you?

Love Chris Daughtry… i will never over u, daughtry…..hehe

Babies….

Just came back from my hometown… It’s so much fun as I felt like I’m trapping here… but still not enough… I took 5am bus and I still remember when I look at the watch I hope I’m dreaming… hehe lazy girl…The hot topic in the circle of my family is “baby”… everybody is having a baby… and I love them very much… and I don’t know why I always wanna cry seeing those babies… haha a big girl can cry what…

They are so clean, innocent, white like untouched linen… and the best thing is they are sooooo cute….I wish I’m still a baby… so innocent… nothing to worry about… nothing to bother… ouch it sounded so pathetic when I always envy with the babies… anyway is true… I always staring at a baby, or even a kid… watching they play with their friends, looking at the smile and their laugh… It is so true and pure… they live happily and have no worry about tomorrow…

And I can’t understand why some adult like to push their kids and demanding some achievements… I think all they need to do is lead the kids and show them the right way… and then just leave to the kids what to do next… luckily that’s how I was brought up… And I also not agree when some peoples blame on the parents for what the kids had done… sometimes no matter how great the parents are but if the kids still do a lot of mistakes, why not just blame the kids… there is no time to play the blame games…

I remember a quote saying ‘babies are such a nice way to start people’… literally is sounded so easy to understand, but I don’t understand it… or maybe I had just over analyzing the quote… does it saying that babies is a good medium to interact with other peoples… or doest it saying that the babies itself is a good way to start a thing…Just leave the question…

for me personally, the babies are some sort of my own interpretation of a reborn, a new breath, a beginning, an empty space wait to be filled…~~right or wrong? I never bother….

the neverending hectic life

I had just finished the first stage of the presentation for my final year project… this so called a proposal presentation is unpredictable… It cause by the examiners that became so mean… just shot me with a lot of question that is over my proposal benchmark… and questioned the things that not related to my tasks… for me, they just want to kill me… but apparently they failed because I’d giving my best shot even it wasn’t so good… but at least it’s over… 

A lot of my friends feel so relief and happy after the presentations… for them they only have the comptia a+ training to finish… but I still got a lot of tasks to be done… and honestly I don’t know where is the stopping point… Talking about my FYP, it’s like a burden to me, supposed to say my responsible… otherwise I’m not going to grad this year… oh no, that’s couldn’t be…I have no choice and obviously I need to sacrifice my ‘berpoye-poye’ life for the sake of my FYP… so pathetic… 

Though it looks like a lot of things that I did for my FYP… and as what people see, I am so busy… but actually I don’t think I have a very good progress… I did spent a lot of time to do the research and studies which include out of my interest area (no choice to abandon them)… but  a lot of things that I can’t figure out… the time is moving but I think my job wasn’t ever finish… 

At certain point, I don’t know where my FYP heading to… plus I am lost sometimes… and I getting weaker when my supervisor simply said I have no initiative to do this, to do that… but I delete it from my memory… I won’t let a person thought to break me down…never… in fact I did took some initiatives…

I study, or can be said doing a lot of research, or worst, study until my nose bleeding (exaggerating)… I even asked some peoples.. a lot of peoples… from many area… in and out of Malaysia… Whatever it is, I know myself, I know I give a lot of effort for this FYP… and nothing will stop me to keep on trying…

I might be fragile but not a loser… I will go for it and have no fear… because I know no matter how bad I did, I will bounce back and always grab another chance and never stop trying…

::mixed up everything::

“In the moment of dizzy, stress, distracted and overhelmed….”

Task come and and go. Those that gone was so little and the addition of the tasks is so overhelming me. Sometimes I almost fell from my own track when evrything was about out of my reach. The robustness almost fell into pieces. I almost lost the energy and even turn to be a pessimist, which I shouldn’t be. In fact, I had put everything in my ignorance sanctum once.

But I shouldn’t be the one that I shouldn’t be and stay in the track and stay focus. I should straightening myself and organize everything. I suppose to analyze everything and think thoroughly. Leave everything is not a solution. I must take everything and just do it. Just like what Ieyla suppose to be. Be patient no matter how hard the task is and no matter how much the number is. As long as I stay positive, all the difficult things can turn to easy and simple. Well, at least there’s a hope.

“Minor things matter.”

I had just have some chat with a long lost friend. Maybe it is nothing to some people but for me every minor things matter. As we chatting, a sentimental feeling knocking my heart and honestly I am about to cry. Anyway the conversation had remind me all the good times that I use to have.

She use to be a very good friend of mine. But because of our immaturity and stupidity we fought on something that had changed our relationship. Actually I don’t even remember what we fought for. And I could say there always an apologize for us that still childish and obviously in our learning stage. As I step in the new phase of life, I can take it as a lesson. With all the wisdom I ensure myself to face the world wisely.

I really think it is so nice to have someone that have many common things with us. Listen to the same song, watching the same movie, reading the same line, play the same sport and a lot more. But this life couldn’t be that perfect. And at this moment I realize that my flexibility had been tested. I almost give up and all the strengths that I own almost faded. But what a life without obstacles?

There is no lack of motivation to keep me from my own goal. I should extend my ability and attemp to feel the groove. Be wised up and stand still. Never let the demon win as the trophy is always mine. I will never afraid of anything.

“Demon will kill you but he never will be if you kill him first.”